How to change your life!

When you think a thought the thought creates a feeling. Your feelings create your actions; and your actions create every aspect of your future. Your beliefs are simply well rehearsed thoughts; thus the saying "Your belief forms your reality" is absolutely true.

This very powerful technique will teach you how to take control of the thoughts you think and consequently make effective changes to your beliefs and as a consequence create quick and powerful changes in the quality of your life.

Listen in by clicking the play button below.

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Loyalty

Here are my thoughts on the subject of loyalty; where does it really come from?

Just press the play button on the player below to listen in.

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In life you hold the statistical advantage!

I'm not a gambler, but I do play the Black Jack game on my cell phone quite a bit. Before I had ever been to a real Casino I discovered something obvious about the game in my phone. I discovered that over time I would always win out. The reason was that no matter how many times I might lose a hand I could always double my bet - over and over again if necessary - and eventually I would end up with more money than I started with. As long as I kept playing, and kept raising the stakes, I would alway increase my earnings!

I thought to myself; if it's so easy to win at this game, why don't people just quit there jobs and play cards for a living at real Casinos; whats the catch?

But in Las Vegas there is one critical difference. Even though the odds of winning an individual hand are identical, and the game is played exactly the same, there is one major drawback. At a real Casino each table has established a "maximum" bet. An amount of money that you can bet no higher than on any given hand. As a consequence of the "maximum" bet you can't follow the strategy of simply parlaying your bet because you will almost always hit that ceiling!

On the game in my phone no matter how many times I lose I can always double up and eventually I win. In the Casino there is a limit to what I can bet, and it's this limit that is responsible for statistically always making the house win.

And so here is my point. Most people think life is like a Casino. They try things and lose, they try again and lose, and unfortunately if they lose enough times they arbitrarily decide that they have hit there limit and stop trying. They get up and leave the table.

The great news is that life isn't like a Casino. Life is more like the game on my cell phone. In life there is no "maximum" bet. You can keep on betting and keep on betting, and all you need is one big success to make up for dozens of misses.

Over time, because there is no maximum to the number of tries you get, life is always stacked in your favor. Some appear to gain there successes more quickly, others more slowly, but the great news is this: it is a 100% statistical certainty that as long you keep on trying you will succeed!

Letting to Let Go of Resistance

Here is a brief talk on learning to let go of those beliefs that may be keeping you from being your best; enjoy!

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Sometimes you get more if your willing to pay more.

Does getting something for nothing usually work out? Here's a brief story about my experience of getting a "free" education.

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Comfort Zones in the Martial Arts

Imagine yourself climbing an infinitely high ladder. When you go up the first couple of rungs there is no fear; you are still a safe distance from the ground. But when you get past a certain point if you're like most people fear can set in. That fear simply means you've climbed out of your comfort zone.

You can avoid the experience of fear in two ways. First if you keep looking up and avoid looking down. Secondly at any given level, if you stay there long enough, your fear will begin to diminish. (This happens all the time with new construction workers who are terrified at first of working on tall buildings but after a period of time they just grow used to it.)

Comfort zones in the Martial Arts (or anything else) work exactly the same way. Often in your practice when you feel uncomfortable it simply means you've moved up a rung in the ladder; you've moved past where you were into higher, more uncharted territory. You can avoid most of the discomfort by keeping your mind on where you are going, and stay in the new place long enough for you to feel safe. Eventually the fear will subside and it will be time to move on again!

What has stopped more aspiring Martial Artists than just about everything else combined is the refusal to move into an unfamiliar area and or the refusal to move out of a comfortable area. If you study every great Martial Art Master they all had one major thing in common; they all were innovators, they stepped out of there comfort zones, often becoming students again and again, continually modifying their techniques and the styles they taught. If you want to be great you must keep moving and looking ahead!

There is some really good news about comfort zones. If you were on a ladder, climbing it higher and higher, eventually you would come to a place where going still higher wouldn't bother you at all. After all, is six hundred feet really that much different than five hundred? So in exactly the same way, when you get to a certain place in your practice moving to new territory isn't that big of a deal; it's just what you do and it gets easier and easier.

So there you have it; if you want to break through your limitations there really is a simple formula.

1: Don't look down, keep your mind on your progress.

2: Stay in your new area long enough to feel good about it.

3: Keep moving and realize eventually you will get to a level where progress will come to you with very little discomfort.

Good luck breaking through your comfort zones!

Your relationship with others and your relationship to practice.

I was speaking last night about the three phases of relationships I've had in my life. When I first started teaching in the early 80's most of my relationships were based on thinking about "me". I used to think the way you get things done is through placing yourself in an advantageous position. At that time in my life I spent most of my time creating wins for me; but I'm ashamed to say that I didn't care very much if the other person got a win or not. In those days I had a lot of stress, few friends, and pretty terrible relationships.

By the 90's I had come to realize that the only way for me to win was to create a win for the others. I made every effort to create win/win relationships because I knew that was going to be a key to my own success. While this change was a quantum leap in my life, and did relieve a lot of stress, it still was not the highest level. While my interactions had improved I still wasn't totally happy. I still had falling outs, I still had few friends, and I still knew that something was missing.

The biggest change for me over the last ten years is I've purposely started to look at others differently. I no longer see others as a means to reach my goals; but instead I genuinely try and see them the way I believe the Divine sees them. I try and see the best qualities and sometimes even write them down and take them into my meditation. I look at the people I allow into my dojo and into my life as amazing gifts that came from God; and I am reverent toward them and treat them with the utmost care. I don't set up wins for others so that I can win myself; I set up wins for them because I stand in such admiration for them and who they are; my service to them is the least I can do!

The paradox is that not only are today's relationships pleasant, not only do I have more friends than ever and a wonderful stress free lifestyle; but amazingly my business is blessed too! I've come to the conclusion that I receive blessings when I don't seek them, but try my best to simply give them!

I believe that your relationship with Martial Arts practice should work the same way. When you are focused on what practice will "do" for you they will never reveal their deepest secrets. When you learn to see Martial Arts through the eyes of love; when you do it just for it's own sake, when you try to uplift, improve, contribute, all for the simple fun of being on the mats its at that moment you are on the right course.

When you lose yourself in the practice -without trying to get anything from it- at that moment a flood gate of benefits will flow to you; the confidence you were seeking, the self-defense skills, the fitness and concentration. All will come to you naturally, the way a butterfly might land on your shoulder if your still enough. All good things in the Martial Arts will come to you, not because you chase them, but instead precisely because you do not.

Fascinating Video

I'm not sure exactly why I'm posting this but when I watched it I couldn't take my eyes off it. It's about an amazing experience in the life of a brain researcher who has a spiritual experience as a result of a section of her brain shutting down.

Very dramatic and powerful!

Silence and learning

Here is a quick observation about learning. The more you talk the less you actually learn!

Part of Zen training in the Martial Arts teaches us that most of us has an "internal dialog" going on in our head all the time. In other words we are busy talking to ourselves for most of the day. It's this talking to ourselves that prevents us from actually seeing and experiencing what's going on around us in the real world. In other words this "self talk" prevents us from listening.

It works the same way in a conversation. Someone is speaking and you are supposed to be listening, but instead you are planning what you are going to say and as a result no actual communication takes place.

This is also the same basic problem that students have when sparring or free rolling with a partner. They are so busy planning what they are going to do that they don't see the easy and obvious opportunities that keep appearing.

To be excellent at Martial Arts you must learn to stop this internal chatter. The place to develop this is during class. In class you make every effort to simply pay attention. When you begin to judge yourself (positively or negatively) you simply let that voice go and go back to the practice. In time you will begin to grow strong in your ability to concentrate for longer and longer periods, all by simply letting go of the internal chatter.

Beware! If you allow this "internal" chatter to go on for too long, eventually it will erupt into "external" chatter. You will notice students actually begin to chat with each other as they go into practice. They ask questions of each other, they stop to explain, and feel the need to share their experiences. This is absolutely contrary to the mindfulness that Martial Arts is designed to develop. So if this is you... just stop it!

The best way to learn is to learn in silence, both by not speaking, and then working diligently to still the mind as well. Your learning will be greatly enhanced as will the learning of those around you. If you do have a question, hold that question until the end of class and then use that opportunity to ask it. Do this not just in Martial Arts, but in every area and notice how your communication improves and your learning greatly accelerates!

What are you useing for your excuse to feel good?

One of my favorite stories comes from the winter a few years back. At that time my favorite night of the week was Thursday, because on Thursday I would go up to Detroit to train in Sifu Brown's class. You might even say I would look forward to Thursday all week long! One particular week seemed like a pretty long and tough one, and I kept thinking, "If I can just make it to Thursday things are going to be terrific." The whole day I waited in eager anticipation of my class in Detroit.

About 30 minutes before we were scheduled to leave one of the kids said; "Hey, there is something wrong with the ceiling." Sure enough he was right; the ceiling at my home was leaking!... Not just leaking in one small place, but leaking massively in several areas. We started rushing around with buckets, trash cans, and towels, trying to limit the damage. What had happened was that my flat roof home had had the drains in the roofing system improperly installed so that as the 18 inches of snow that was on the roof began to melt it was going into the drain area and then leaking into the house!

At that moment we realized the only choice; to climb on the roof and get the foot or two of snow off otherwise it would end up inside my house! I also realized any chances of going to class in Detroit were completely shot.

I remember being on that roof; so angry and resentful for what I was going through. Realizing that I had to move about 3000 square foot of deep snow off my roof; by hand, and was totally missing my favorite part of the week as a consequence!

My mind kept looking for a way out. This can't be happening; there must be another solution... but no.... there was no solution. The only solution was hours of work in the wet darkness of my roof. There was nothing to do but give up.

But then something wonderful happened. I did give up; and started to ask myself, since there is nothing you can do about the circumstance; is there a way to use this situation to your advantage? I remembered the words of Sifu when he would talk about every situation is either an opportunity to loose balance or an opportunity to practice.

I decided then and there that I was not going to miss my practice that night. My practice was going to be on the roof. Every shovel of snow was going to be part of my training, every lift, every twist of the hips, every breath was going to involve focus, and mindfulness. I was on that roof something like four hours, and I have to say that it turned into one of the best Martial Arts Practices of my life!!

As crazy as this sounds I came down from that roof with a feeling of exhilaration; I was actually glad it happened!! I had used the power of my mind to take a horrible situation and use it to my advantage, and I became a better Martial Artist because of it!

I heard Esther Hicks say one time that everything that happens gives you an excuse; you can either use it as an excuse to feel bad or an excuse to feel good. But if you use something or someone as an excuse to feel bad it's not long before you will hate and resent that person or circumstance. On the other hand if you use that person or event as an excuse to feel good it won't be long before you love them. And love is always better than hate. Love transforms; and if you hold to the concept of love long enough the circumstances around you will even begin to change to match your inner feeling.

I know it's a big pill to swallow (and God knows I'm still working on this myself) but the most important thing to remember is it's not the outside circumstances of our lives that determine our happiness. It's our decision to be happy and find a way to make every event of our life into and excuse for us to feel good. That may be the only lesson a person really needs to learn in life.

Have you ever noticed that one person goes for a run and loves it; but to another running is torture; so you can see it's not the activity itself; it's the way you choose to view it! And you are always the one that's choosing; not an outside force, no one else, only you!

I believe this is what were doing all the time. Making excuses; choices really about how we want to feel based on what is happening around us. We think that if something happens that we "prefer" then that is what is making us happy, but seldom do we realize it was us who made the choice to "prefer". Wisdom teaches us that we can't control the circumstances of our life; but we can control how we choose to view them. So in all cases we are in control or our own happiness!

So the question is: "What are you using as your excuse to feel bad; and what are you using as your choice to feel good?" Either way it's just an excuse; and an excuse is nothing more than a choice.

Congratulations to all fighters!

We just got back from Ground and Pounds fight night held Saturday night. We are incredibly proud of all of our fighters!! We are also proud of the job GPP productions did with the event from top to bottom. Great attitudes, great spirit, and a ton of fun for everyone!!

Here is a rundown of the our competitors and the results:

Dan McMurray: Dan was relaxed and easy the whole day before the fight; confident and poised. Bell rings Dan comes out and it's almost like Dan can't miss. Every shot he throws is accurate and on point. His competitor has great defensive skills, tries to get into a clinch but Dan controls him there too. Towards the end of the first round Dan goes on a run of hitting him with one punch after another and the referee wisely steps in and gives Dan the TKO!

Best Quotes:
Dan's Partner - “**** that guy is so strong!”
Dan's Partner - “I'm so glad your a nice guy cause I would have hated getting beat like that if you were an ass.”

Dan: “You know what fired me up? I looked over there and I saw Dan Kissling, I know Dan's never going to be an MMA fighter, but he came out to support me, that really inspired me, I knew I was going to beat my guy in front of Dan.”

Dan: “Clickity-Click”


Brad Bell: This was Brads first bout ever. Brad came out confident and ready; got caught with a couple nice shots but gave them right back. Brad took his partner down; almost cinched a Kimura, stayed on top and finished by winning a very close round. When Brad got back to the corner we realized he had sustained an eye injury from one of the early shots and had lost vision, we made the decision not let him continue. (Good news is he's just fine now!)

David Blattman: David was the youngest competitor at the event; the only teenager, and very recently turned 18, and this was his first MMA fight. His partner was sharp, skilled and 24. David totally dominated round one with powerful wrestling skills easily taking his partner down almost at will and staying on top almost the whole round. (He was a huge crowd favorite and you could hear the roar every time David picked his guy up and slammed him to the mat!) Unfortunately, in the second round David made a key wrestlers mistake by starting to get up from the mats from all fours – his competitor new exactly what to do and took his opportunity by leaping in and catching David with a beautiful uppercut that finished the match. (This is why we teach “technical lift!!”) In any case David couldn't have got beaten by a more skilled or more humble young man. I think David made a new friend and new training partner!

Best quotes of the match: David Blattman – (On the medics table and still a little foggy) “OK; so when can I fight again? When can I fight again?”

On the day we went one for three. Not all of the results were what they could have been but we couldn't be more proud of our fighters or the people they faced. I called my brother and told him about not only Dan's victory but the losses by Brad and David. He sent me this quote and it gave me chills; I hope every GPP competitor gets to read it.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt, "Man in the Arena" Speech given April 23, 1910
26th president of US (1858 - 1919)

Life's little instructions

I've come to a stage in my life where I judge wisdom from my heart. I don't pay much attention to the credentials of the author, from where the information came, or if the material is popular. What matters most to me is that the teaching brings me joy.

Some would say this document doesn't have anything to do with Martial Arts; I say the principles this list contain are at the exact center of what being a warrior is all about - learning to live a more elegant joy filled life! Don't be fooled by it's humor and ease; there is deep wisdom here if your looking.

Every time I visit my friends Mark and Robin I see this framed document in their home. Every time I see it it never fails to tug gently at my heart. I hope you like it as much as I do.


Life's Little Instructions:

Sing in the Shower
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated
Watch a sunrise at least once a year
Leave the toilet seat in the down position
Never refuse homemade brownies
Strive for excellence not perfection
Plant a tree on your birthday
Learn three clean jokes
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full
Complement three people every day
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them
Leave everything a little better than you found it
Keep it simple
Think big thoughts bur relish small pleasures
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know
Floss your teeth
Ask for a raise when you feel that you've earned it
Be forgiving of yourself and others
Over-tip breakfast waitresses
Say "thank you" a lot
Say "please" a lot
Avoid negative people
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards
Wear polished shoes
Remember other people's birthdays
Commit yourself to constant improvement
Carry jumper cables in your trunk
Have a firm handshake
Send lots of Valentines Cards; sign them "From someone who thinks your terrific."
Look people in the eye
Be the first to say "Hello"
Use the good silverware
Return all things you borrow
Make new friends but cherish the old ones
Keep secrets
Plant flowers every spring
Have a dog
Always accept an outstretched hand
Stop blaming others
Take responsibility for every area of your life
Wave at kids on school buses
Be there when people need you
Feed a strangers expired parking meter
Don't expect life to be fair
Never underestimate the power of love
Drink champagne for no reason at all
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation
Don't be afraid to say "I made a mistake."
Don't be afraid to say "I don't know."
Compliment even small improvement
Keep your promises; (no matter what)
Marry only for love
Rekindle old friendships
Count your blessings
Call your mother

Remembering our trip to "Team Bundy"

The weekend before last Sempai and I had the honor of going on a visit to our close friend Jim Bundy of "Team Bundy" in Youngstown. We've known Mr. Bundy for years and are very thankful for his friendship and spirit. Jim is a professional MMA fighter and certainly one of the top MMA trainers in the state. He also is a fantastic teacher and does a great job of creating a helping sharing environment in his gym.

He took a lot of time with us and really got specific on the details of several key Jiu Jitsu transitions and techniques. I've included a video him teaching some of they key points of the day; enjoy!


Jim Bundy from Team Bundy; Jiu Jitsu for MMA - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

Testing Completed!

On Saturday a group completed their high rank test. The test took the better part of three hours and was pretty comprehensive. I had five students testing for various ranks and fortunately all five made it and were promoted!

I was especially glad to hear each of them read their papers. As a matter of fact I think all five papers were fabulous and from the heart. I left inspired and motivated; I think they left feeling the same...but a little more tired than me!

Some days I wrestle with testing. Since our tests are really hard testing time is unfortunately a time when some students decide to quit. They know that there is a tremendous amount of preparation and training that will have to go into passing one of these tests and some, when they balance the work, with the rest of their lives choose to give up practice instead of taking the test.

In my early days as a teacher I used to worry more about this. I used to think: "If they give up on Martial Arts then they won't be able to get the benefits of practice." In those days the temptation to make the tests easier and easier were strong. But through it all I've noticed something very important. I noticed that no matter how easy you make a test, the student who is not motivated to do the work will work even less!

So today I look at my role differently. I look at my job as a leader, an inspiration, as a facilitator, and realize that I never an responsible for the student "getting the benefits of practice". My job is always to create the right environment, and be the one who encourages the student to aspire to higher levels.

If I'm ever tempted to make a test easier because a student or two quits I will remember the look on the faces of those who passed Saturday. The smiles, the pride, and even a few tears of gratitude will be what I remember. To have a few students who really care, who really want to be good, to me it's worth it!

On Growth and Progress

Today I've been speaking about the process of growth. In Martial Arts (as in everything) students grow by first observing and then experiencing the discomfort of not having. It's this discomfort that leads students to observe, ask questions, practice, and eventually master the new technique. This is the process of learning, and it repeats again and again...forever!

As a practical matter what this means to you is that often when you are not feeling very good about your training you have actually just made progress. It's just that the progress you've made is on a mental level; you now recognize there is something more to learn and you are not yet a match to it. This distance between where you are and where you want to be is what we call discomfort.

Unfortunately we live in a society that for the most part is so focused on “getting” that we don't realize that before any getting there must be “wanting”. It's this wanting that is the cause of our discomfort. It's also this wanting that is calling you to grow.

Much of the Martial Arts world is split on this subject. Some say if you want to relieve the suffering then you must get rid of the wanting. But in my view, if you get rid of the wanting you will indeed get rid of the pain, but you will also get rid of the possibility of growth and expansion. A rock doesn't experience much suffering; but it will never learn to dance either!

I teach my students that there is another way. I believe the way is to make friends with the wanting. To understand that the wanting and the having are just two sides of the same coin, and since this journey will continue forever it makes no sense to be uptight about where you are right now.

The key is focus. In every situation there is that which you want; and that which you don't. ie. I want to be good at kicking; but I have a difficult time with kicks. The trick to using the enormous power of your mind is to spend the bulk of your time, energy, and focus on what you want. In this case I begin to think about the improved technique, I read about it, I study it, I look up Youtube video's about it, I literally become an aficionado of kicking. I may not physically be there just yet; but as I become a fan of kicking, as I study it, as I really becoming an expert in the subject an amazing thing starts to happen - my kicks start to improve! Given enough focus over enough time I'm going to be really good at kicking by keeping my mind where it needs to be.

What's it like when a goal finally happens? One day I notice myself in the mirror and realize I'm really good at kicking. I've gotten really good at this new skill set and I feel the elation of the progress I've made. But then what? How long does that last? It lasts about five minutes and the next thing you know I'm noticing something else that I'm wanting to get good at! No big deal because all I have to do is focus on it and before too long I'll be a match to the new skill and again progress will be made. And all the while even though it looks like I'm learning Martial Art technique what am I really learning? I'm learning to be the creator of my own happiness and growth!

Most have not yet learned to use the above formula. Instead most people fight against the process by putting most of their mental focus into what they do not have. In other words a person realizes he is a weak kicker and then begins to strengthen the position by putting the power of his mind on his deficiencies. He says things like; “I'm not good because of my bad knee.” or “I'm not as young as I used to be.” or “I've never been very coordinated.” etc. ect. All the while this person is not understanding that the only thing that is keeping them from progressing is their attention on their “weakness” instead of disregarding all of that and focusing on the subject they desire.

Remember it's the “reality” of the situation that has caused you to want to grow. But now you don't want the reality; instead you want something that is not currently a part of your reality, and you will soon get it as long as you don't stay stuck focusing on your current truths. You simply have to take your mind off of where it now is and put it on what you want and hold yourself there mentally until you physically can catch up. That's just the way it works in all cases!


When you understand this method of growth you will understand much about my teaching method. I try and create an environment where everyone is friendly, helpful, and caring, but at the same time make it clear that we are not here to provide a “customer service” experience. If a student wants to get good at something we will help them as best as we can, but we will leave the majority of the “work” to the students themselves. In this way the student never becomes dependent on teacher or dojo, but instead learns how to learn. My goal is to facilitate that personal learning by providing the right environment. If the right student is in the right environment; amazing things will happen!

The most powerful word.

Here is a short five minute video. It's one of my favorite mat chats despite being such a simple principle. If more people used this formula I think far more of them would be happy and productive.

I hope it's beneficial to you.

A wonderful seminar with Riggan Machado!

Last Saturday Sempai Blanco and I had a wonderful time at the Professor Riggan Machado seminar in Detroit. To be around this living Jiu Jitsu master was really an honor that we will both remember forever!

We loved the stories he shared about Jiu Jitsu, his life, and the world. We are still humbled by his generous love of sharing and teaching. (We also loved his sense of humor!)

Sempai Blanco asks Professor (jokingly) if he will pose for a picture

of her putting him an arm bar; I swear there are men

who have probably been killed for less :)

Machado Black Belt Mr. Ryan and us.

A Self Fulfilling Prophecy

Hi everyone; here is my latest update. My idea is to take a mat chat ever week or so and post it in my blog. Enjoy!!

A Christmas Carol in March

Thinking about the line from "A Christmas Carol" where Bob Cratchet is confronted by Scrooge. Scrooge claims there is no value in Christmas Spirit.

Bob says: "Well Ebineezer; while it's never put an extra schilling in my pocket, I believe keeping Christmas has done me good!"

Scrooge says: "Bah Humbug!"

My question is; who was right? Does doing things that make us feel warm and fuzzy inside do us good even though they may not appear to put money in our pockets? Does it make sense to find a way to be kind, to give, and love even when there is a lot going on that seems unlovable?

Here's what I've been working on; I have decided that my number one responsibility in life is doing things and thinking thoughts that make me feel good; (you know; warm and fuzzy inside). That's the reason I write this blog, that's the reason I teach Martial Arts, why I work out ect.

Using feeling good as the model for what I'm responsible for sure makes things easy. You take action based on how it makes you feel when you do it and before you know it you begin to notice yourself more and more spending time doing things you are genuinly interested in and passionate about. As a consequence the feeling of fatigue so many face begins to lift and life starts to get easier and smoother.

By following this simple strategy I've been able to revolutionize my business. I no longer dread Mondays; I actually look forward to them. I no longer go home tired, my biggest problem is sometimes I'm so excited about my day that I can't sleep because of the excitement. - And, while I'm far from rich, money has become so much easier to come by than it ever did back in the days when I thought it was important to make sacrifices in my joy in order to get ahead in business!

So getting back to Bob Cratchet; was he right? Did keeping Christmas do him good?

My opinion from personal experience is YES! If your doing something that's making you happy it can't help but bless you in the long run; and in the short run too.

But then someone might ask; yes but what about Scrooge? By being miserly and cruel, wasn't he also doing what was making him happy?

The answer is NO. Scrooge hated being alone, he was living a miserable life, it's just he had stopped doing what he loved, had given up even the people he loved because he thought that's what he needed to do to get ahead. So he began to focus on his SURVIVAL not his joy. (Kinda the way I used to view my dojo.)

I'm no Doctor, or financial advisor, but I believe Scrooges way of living leads to health problems, mental problems, and the eventual loss of financial freedom. In other words when you sacrifice joy to get something you almost always not only lose your joy, but you also lose the very thing you were sacrificing for!

So here is my non-medical, non-certified, and non degree answer to lifes major woes: Do and think that which makes you feel warm and fuzzy. If something is going on that is "true" but it doesn't make you feel good, try and give it as little attention as you can; keep going back to the warm and fuzzy thoughts and actions. Eventually the good feelings will be so predominate that those wonderful feelings will begin to drown out most of the apparent reality your caught in. You will begin to see problems as small bumps in the road, but your mind will mostly be filled with the satisfaction of knowing you are almost always moving in the right direction.

So the bottom line: If you want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise; get happy and stay there!

BTW: I owe almost all of this message to Esther Hicks and "The Teachings of Abraham!" Check them out!!

Thoughts about freedom in martial arts study

In many dojo's the student teacher relationship is based on fear. Teachers are afraid of loseing students to other instructors, and students are try to force there teachers to give them what they want at the time. (Sensei; can we sparr more? Sensei can we start doing weapons now? etc. etc.)

If a teacher doesn't do what the student wants the student feels the need to criticise; and if the student doesn't do what the teacher wants the students "loyalty" is called into question. It's this basic lack of freedom that causes ugly break ups in relationships and organizations; martial arts or otherwise.

The saddest part about this model is that opportunities to learn are lost by both student and teacher out of fear. Students aren't allowed to even look at other teachers or dojo's; if they do their loyalty is called into question. Naturally teachers rarely look to increase their knowledge and branch out into other arts because it would set the stage for there students to do the same. It also might make the teacher look bad because the instructor is afraid of being seen as a "lower rank" in a new art.

What I love most about the way I teach today is I don't view the students as “my” students. The students I'm lucky enough to teach are students of the “Martial Arts”. My job is just to be a facilitator and share what I know and point them in the right direction. I no longer view myself as a teacher of a "style" but as the sharer of the cumulation of arts I've studied and am continuing to learn.

The absolute best part of my life as a teacher today is that it not only frees the student, but it also frees me. I can study a different style; I can be a “begnner” in some other art. I can expand my knowledge and progress the way I want, and can share what I know with students at a time and place I see fit. If students likes what I do then they stay, if they don't then they go. Either way I'm happy with it and so are they. I have found that making the way I teach and run my dojo match what makes me happy is a full time job. I try not to give one second to trying to make other people happy; it diverts my energy too much.

The lesson learned is you can never really give yourself freedom until first you give it away to others. The more freedom you give the more you get; and that's the way I like it!

A really good question.

I heard this question the other day and like it: "What happend that trained you into your current attitude about ________ .?"

The reason I like that question so much is that it forces you to recognize that your attitude has been shaped by real experiences you've had. Your not making up the things that have happend to you; they are real, and it's those things that to a large extent have shaped your current attitudes and beliefs.

But here is where it get's interesting. It's your current belifes and attitudes that will for the most part make up your future "real" events. When those future "real" events happen you will then be trained by them to a like attitude and so on. What this means is the better it gets the better it gets; but also the worse it gets the worse it gets. And this is an excellent example of what is called the "Law of Attraction".

So if you're wanting positive change in your life what should you do? The answer is to stop focusing on past or even present negative circumstances and direct your mind toward the way you want the future to be. Become a visionary. Speak about, look forward to, write about what you are wanting. Begin to retrain yourself from the perspective of your your imagination as opposed to your memory.

It seems like a tall order, but it's only a matter of practicing what you speak about and think about. Become obsessed with the future; and soon you will see the results, and the results will give you confidence, and you will be on your way!

A nice voicemail.

After I ended my kids class today I decided to give them a talk on how important it is to realize that no matter how bad things "are", everything is constantly changing; so don't give up hope when your really down.

These talks are funny for me because sometimes I can see the kids feeling a little restless and even a few rolling there eyes. I had to decide a few years ago if I was even going to keep giving those little talks; it seemed to me that the kids just didn't care. After quite a bit of soul searching I decided to keep giving the talks. The main reason; I don't care if the kids like them or not, I love giving them and when I give these talks to others it really makes me feel better!

This evening I recieved a nice voice mail from one of the parents of one of my child students. They told me how much they appreciated those little talks, how they get in the car every night after class and discuss what I said. She went on to say that those little talks had made a huge difference in the life of her child; and tonight especially it made a big difference. She said she just had to call to let us know.

It's funny but when you do what you love you can't help but also have a positive impact on others too. Why not do what you love to do today?

posting about my thoughts...

I was thinking today about the word truth. Ehster Hicks (Teachings of Abraham) has said that you can always tell that which is true based on how speaking or thinking it makes you feel. If you are giving your attention to something that is "true" then it will make you feel good!

Based on the above definition someone might ask: “What if my reality is in conflict with the truth?”

This is the basic problem of the human condition because we give way too much attention to “reality” as if reality had some independent life of it's own. But what if reality is always in a constant state of flux? What if reality is being created constantly by our thoughts, beliefs and actions. If reality is constantly the result or our behaviors rather than independent of them then it makes no sense to make too big of a deal out of reality. - This means reality is a result, not a permanent condition.

In other words; reality is not a good enough excuse to feel bad. Just because something is true you don't have to make it into such a big deal because you know things are constantly changing. Begin to change the way you think and behave and you will notice your reality will change too.

What if there is a hidden truth about your potential and nature? What if this truth is so big and so bold that it is totally unlimited by space or time? If this is so, when you tell yourself something that matches the truth of your real nature wouldn't it be natural to feel good? When you tell yourself something that doesn't match your true potential, wouldn't it be natural to feel bad?

One of my favorite lyrics comes from a band named “Reliant K”. The lyric goes something like this...

“Please don't see me the way I am, only see me the way I am.”

I like to translate this lyric as follows: “Please don't look at the “reality” of me, instead please look at my true “potential”. (the truth of me)

So the basic advice; stop paying attention to “reality” and start paying attention to “truth”.

arghhhh a rainy tuesday!

Tuesday is one of those tough days for me. Just seems like the day is so splintered it's hard to get anything done. Maybe I should just chill and not worry about getting things done on Tuesday?

Sounds like a plan to me. 

Still I did get to work with some pretty amazing students today, and if I were to compare my average Tuesdsay to my parents.....well, I guess I'd be a rock star!

I really like this time change!

Changing the time for me over the weekend was wonderful! It seems to me that the time change is the unofficial beginning of spring. It makes me wonder if it's really the temperature that makes winter rough in the midwest or mostly the darkness and the gray...hmmmmm.

Anyway, what a wonderful day. I got to workout twice, and had terrific, highly skilled students who stayed late and rolled with me. I love teaching martial arts and living life!

Village Idiot Acustics for Autism

Just got back from the "Acustics for Autism" event, also callled I AM, hosted at the Village Idiot in Maumee... Amazing! Don't know what the stout beer was but it was great! Event was probably the coolest event, and with the coolest people I've been around in a long, long time. 

Way to go!!!

New music player

I love finding new free way cool internet things. I also love great music. Yesterday I saw a posting from CNET about a new tool that I'm totally in love with. It's called Muziic and it is about the best thing I've seen for music on the internet. It's 100% free, stable, and uses a simple concept. Muziic simply acts as a front for Youtube so you can listen to everything in Youtube (basically everything in the universe) in one organized player with play lists, and full search.

I can't tell you how impressed with this little thing, as I understand the owners of this software are a fifteen year old and his Dad, and I think this concept could literally shakeup the way music is listened to on the web!

The first post

This is the first post to the Martial Arts Center blog. Who knows where this will take us?