On Growth and Progress

Today I've been speaking about the process of growth. In Martial Arts (as in everything) students grow by first observing and then experiencing the discomfort of not having. It's this discomfort that leads students to observe, ask questions, practice, and eventually master the new technique. This is the process of learning, and it repeats again and again...forever!

As a practical matter what this means to you is that often when you are not feeling very good about your training you have actually just made progress. It's just that the progress you've made is on a mental level; you now recognize there is something more to learn and you are not yet a match to it. This distance between where you are and where you want to be is what we call discomfort.

Unfortunately we live in a society that for the most part is so focused on “getting” that we don't realize that before any getting there must be “wanting”. It's this wanting that is the cause of our discomfort. It's also this wanting that is calling you to grow.

Much of the Martial Arts world is split on this subject. Some say if you want to relieve the suffering then you must get rid of the wanting. But in my view, if you get rid of the wanting you will indeed get rid of the pain, but you will also get rid of the possibility of growth and expansion. A rock doesn't experience much suffering; but it will never learn to dance either!

I teach my students that there is another way. I believe the way is to make friends with the wanting. To understand that the wanting and the having are just two sides of the same coin, and since this journey will continue forever it makes no sense to be uptight about where you are right now.

The key is focus. In every situation there is that which you want; and that which you don't. ie. I want to be good at kicking; but I have a difficult time with kicks. The trick to using the enormous power of your mind is to spend the bulk of your time, energy, and focus on what you want. In this case I begin to think about the improved technique, I read about it, I study it, I look up Youtube video's about it, I literally become an aficionado of kicking. I may not physically be there just yet; but as I become a fan of kicking, as I study it, as I really becoming an expert in the subject an amazing thing starts to happen - my kicks start to improve! Given enough focus over enough time I'm going to be really good at kicking by keeping my mind where it needs to be.

What's it like when a goal finally happens? One day I notice myself in the mirror and realize I'm really good at kicking. I've gotten really good at this new skill set and I feel the elation of the progress I've made. But then what? How long does that last? It lasts about five minutes and the next thing you know I'm noticing something else that I'm wanting to get good at! No big deal because all I have to do is focus on it and before too long I'll be a match to the new skill and again progress will be made. And all the while even though it looks like I'm learning Martial Art technique what am I really learning? I'm learning to be the creator of my own happiness and growth!

Most have not yet learned to use the above formula. Instead most people fight against the process by putting most of their mental focus into what they do not have. In other words a person realizes he is a weak kicker and then begins to strengthen the position by putting the power of his mind on his deficiencies. He says things like; “I'm not good because of my bad knee.” or “I'm not as young as I used to be.” or “I've never been very coordinated.” etc. ect. All the while this person is not understanding that the only thing that is keeping them from progressing is their attention on their “weakness” instead of disregarding all of that and focusing on the subject they desire.

Remember it's the “reality” of the situation that has caused you to want to grow. But now you don't want the reality; instead you want something that is not currently a part of your reality, and you will soon get it as long as you don't stay stuck focusing on your current truths. You simply have to take your mind off of where it now is and put it on what you want and hold yourself there mentally until you physically can catch up. That's just the way it works in all cases!


When you understand this method of growth you will understand much about my teaching method. I try and create an environment where everyone is friendly, helpful, and caring, but at the same time make it clear that we are not here to provide a “customer service” experience. If a student wants to get good at something we will help them as best as we can, but we will leave the majority of the “work” to the students themselves. In this way the student never becomes dependent on teacher or dojo, but instead learns how to learn. My goal is to facilitate that personal learning by providing the right environment. If the right student is in the right environment; amazing things will happen!