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I've come to a stage in my life where I judge wisdom from my heart. I don't pay much attention to the credentials of the author, from where the information came, or if the material is popular. What matters most to me is that the teaching brings me joy.
Some would say this document doesn't have anything to do with Martial Arts; I say the principles this list contain are at the exact center of what being a warrior is all about - learning to live a more elegant joy filled life! Don't be fooled by it's humor and ease; there is deep wisdom here if your looking.
Every time I visit my friends Mark and Robin I see this framed document in their home. Every time I see it it never fails to tug gently at my heart. I hope you like it as much as I do.
Life's Little Instructions:
Sing in the Shower
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated
Watch a sunrise at least once a year
Leave the toilet seat in the down position
Never refuse homemade brownies
Strive for excellence not perfection
Plant a tree on your birthday
Learn three clean jokes
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full
Complement three people every day
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them
Leave everything a little better than you found it
Keep it simple
Think big thoughts bur relish small pleasures
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know
Floss your teeth
Ask for a raise when you feel that you've earned it
Be forgiving of yourself and others
Over-tip breakfast waitresses
Say "thank you" a lot
Say "please" a lot
Avoid negative people
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards
Wear polished shoes
Remember other people's birthdays
Commit yourself to constant improvement
Carry jumper cables in your trunk
Have a firm handshake
Send lots of Valentines Cards; sign them "From someone who thinks your terrific."
Look people in the eye
Be the first to say "Hello"
Use the good silverware
Return all things you borrow
Make new friends but cherish the old ones
Keep secrets
Plant flowers every spring
Have a dog
Always accept an outstretched hand
Stop blaming others
Take responsibility for every area of your life
Wave at kids on school buses
Be there when people need you
Feed a strangers expired parking meter
Don't expect life to be fair
Never underestimate the power of love
Drink champagne for no reason at all
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation
Don't be afraid to say "I made a mistake."
Don't be afraid to say "I don't know."
Compliment even small improvement
Keep your promises; (no matter what)
Marry only for love
Rekindle old friendships
Count your blessings
Call your mother
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Remembering our trip to "Team Bundy"
The weekend before last Sempai and I had the honor of going on a visit to our close friend Jim Bundy of "Team Bundy" in Youngstown. We've known Mr. Bundy for years and are very thankful for his friendship and spirit. Jim is a professional MMA fighter and certainly one of the top MMA trainers in the state. He also is a fantastic teacher and does a great job of creating a helping sharing environment in his gym.
He took a lot of time with us and really got specific on the details of several key Jiu Jitsu transitions and techniques. I've included a video him teaching some of they key points of the day; enjoy!
Jim Bundy from Team Bundy; Jiu Jitsu for MMA - Click here for the funniest movie of the week
He took a lot of time with us and really got specific on the details of several key Jiu Jitsu transitions and techniques. I've included a video him teaching some of they key points of the day; enjoy!
Jim Bundy from Team Bundy; Jiu Jitsu for MMA - Click here for the funniest movie of the week
Monday, April 20, 2009
Testing Completed!
On Saturday a group completed their high rank test. The test took the better part of three hours and was pretty comprehensive. I had five students testing for various ranks and fortunately all five made it and were promoted!
I was especially glad to hear each of them read their papers. As a matter of fact I think all five papers were fabulous and from the heart. I left inspired and motivated; I think they left feeling the same...but a little more tired than me!
Some days I wrestle with testing. Since our tests are really hard testing time is unfortunately a time when some students decide to quit. They know that there is a tremendous amount of preparation and training that will have to go into passing one of these tests and some, when they balance the work, with the rest of their lives choose to give up practice instead of taking the test.
In my early days as a teacher I used to worry more about this. I used to think: "If they give up on Martial Arts then they won't be able to get the benefits of practice." In those days the temptation to make the tests easier and easier were strong. But through it all I've noticed something very important. I noticed that no matter how easy you make a test, the student who is not motivated to do the work will work even less!
So today I look at my role differently. I look at my job as a leader, an inspiration, as a facilitator, and realize that I never an responsible for the student "getting the benefits of practice". My job is always to create the right environment, and be the one who encourages the student to aspire to higher levels.
If I'm ever tempted to make a test easier because a student or two quits I will remember the look on the faces of those who passed Saturday. The smiles, the pride, and even a few tears of gratitude will be what I remember. To have a few students who really care, who really want to be good, to me it's worth it!
I was especially glad to hear each of them read their papers. As a matter of fact I think all five papers were fabulous and from the heart. I left inspired and motivated; I think they left feeling the same...but a little more tired than me!
Some days I wrestle with testing. Since our tests are really hard testing time is unfortunately a time when some students decide to quit. They know that there is a tremendous amount of preparation and training that will have to go into passing one of these tests and some, when they balance the work, with the rest of their lives choose to give up practice instead of taking the test.
In my early days as a teacher I used to worry more about this. I used to think: "If they give up on Martial Arts then they won't be able to get the benefits of practice." In those days the temptation to make the tests easier and easier were strong. But through it all I've noticed something very important. I noticed that no matter how easy you make a test, the student who is not motivated to do the work will work even less!
So today I look at my role differently. I look at my job as a leader, an inspiration, as a facilitator, and realize that I never an responsible for the student "getting the benefits of practice". My job is always to create the right environment, and be the one who encourages the student to aspire to higher levels.
If I'm ever tempted to make a test easier because a student or two quits I will remember the look on the faces of those who passed Saturday. The smiles, the pride, and even a few tears of gratitude will be what I remember. To have a few students who really care, who really want to be good, to me it's worth it!
Monday, April 13, 2009
On Growth and Progress
Today I've been speaking about the process of growth. In Martial Arts (as in everything) students grow by first observing and then experiencing the discomfort of not having. It's this discomfort that leads students to observe, ask questions, practice, and eventually master the new technique. This is the process of learning, and it repeats again and again...forever!
As a practical matter what this means to you is that often when you are not feeling very good about your training you have actually just made progress. It's just that the progress you've made is on a mental level; you now recognize there is something more to learn and you are not yet a match to it. This distance between where you are and where you want to be is what we call discomfort.
Unfortunately we live in a society that for the most part is so focused on “getting” that we don't realize that before any getting there must be “wanting”. It's this wanting that is the cause of our discomfort. It's also this wanting that is calling you to grow.
Much of the Martial Arts world is split on this subject. Some say if you want to relieve the suffering then you must get rid of the wanting. But in my view, if you get rid of the wanting you will indeed get rid of the pain, but you will also get rid of the possibility of growth and expansion. A rock doesn't experience much suffering; but it will never learn to dance either!
I teach my students that there is another way. I believe the way is to make friends with the wanting. To understand that the wanting and the having are just two sides of the same coin, and since this journey will continue forever it makes no sense to be uptight about where you are right now.
The key is focus. In every situation there is that which you want; and that which you don't. ie. I want to be good at kicking; but I have a difficult time with kicks. The trick to using the enormous power of your mind is to spend the bulk of your time, energy, and focus on what you want. In this case I begin to think about the improved technique, I read about it, I study it, I look up Youtube video's about it, I literally become an aficionado of kicking. I may not physically be there just yet; but as I become a fan of kicking, as I study it, as I really becoming an expert in the subject an amazing thing starts to happen - my kicks start to improve! Given enough focus over enough time I'm going to be really good at kicking by keeping my mind where it needs to be.
What's it like when a goal finally happens? One day I notice myself in the mirror and realize I'm really good at kicking. I've gotten really good at this new skill set and I feel the elation of the progress I've made. But then what? How long does that last? It lasts about five minutes and the next thing you know I'm noticing something else that I'm wanting to get good at! No big deal because all I have to do is focus on it and before too long I'll be a match to the new skill and again progress will be made. And all the while even though it looks like I'm learning Martial Art technique what am I really learning? I'm learning to be the creator of my own happiness and growth!
Most have not yet learned to use the above formula. Instead most people fight against the process by putting most of their mental focus into what they do not have. In other words a person realizes he is a weak kicker and then begins to strengthen the position by putting the power of his mind on his deficiencies. He says things like; “I'm not good because of my bad knee.” or “I'm not as young as I used to be.” or “I've never been very coordinated.” etc. ect. All the while this person is not understanding that the only thing that is keeping them from progressing is their attention on their “weakness” instead of disregarding all of that and focusing on the subject they desire.
Remember it's the “reality” of the situation that has caused you to want to grow. But now you don't want the reality; instead you want something that is not currently a part of your reality, and you will soon get it as long as you don't stay stuck focusing on your current truths. You simply have to take your mind off of where it now is and put it on what you want and hold yourself there mentally until you physically can catch up. That's just the way it works in all cases!
When you understand this method of growth you will understand much about my teaching method. I try and create an environment where everyone is friendly, helpful, and caring, but at the same time make it clear that we are not here to provide a “customer service” experience. If a student wants to get good at something we will help them as best as we can, but we will leave the majority of the “work” to the students themselves. In this way the student never becomes dependent on teacher or dojo, but instead learns how to learn. My goal is to facilitate that personal learning by providing the right environment. If the right student is in the right environment; amazing things will happen!
As a practical matter what this means to you is that often when you are not feeling very good about your training you have actually just made progress. It's just that the progress you've made is on a mental level; you now recognize there is something more to learn and you are not yet a match to it. This distance between where you are and where you want to be is what we call discomfort.
Unfortunately we live in a society that for the most part is so focused on “getting” that we don't realize that before any getting there must be “wanting”. It's this wanting that is the cause of our discomfort. It's also this wanting that is calling you to grow.
Much of the Martial Arts world is split on this subject. Some say if you want to relieve the suffering then you must get rid of the wanting. But in my view, if you get rid of the wanting you will indeed get rid of the pain, but you will also get rid of the possibility of growth and expansion. A rock doesn't experience much suffering; but it will never learn to dance either!
I teach my students that there is another way. I believe the way is to make friends with the wanting. To understand that the wanting and the having are just two sides of the same coin, and since this journey will continue forever it makes no sense to be uptight about where you are right now.
The key is focus. In every situation there is that which you want; and that which you don't. ie. I want to be good at kicking; but I have a difficult time with kicks. The trick to using the enormous power of your mind is to spend the bulk of your time, energy, and focus on what you want. In this case I begin to think about the improved technique, I read about it, I study it, I look up Youtube video's about it, I literally become an aficionado of kicking. I may not physically be there just yet; but as I become a fan of kicking, as I study it, as I really becoming an expert in the subject an amazing thing starts to happen - my kicks start to improve! Given enough focus over enough time I'm going to be really good at kicking by keeping my mind where it needs to be.
What's it like when a goal finally happens? One day I notice myself in the mirror and realize I'm really good at kicking. I've gotten really good at this new skill set and I feel the elation of the progress I've made. But then what? How long does that last? It lasts about five minutes and the next thing you know I'm noticing something else that I'm wanting to get good at! No big deal because all I have to do is focus on it and before too long I'll be a match to the new skill and again progress will be made. And all the while even though it looks like I'm learning Martial Art technique what am I really learning? I'm learning to be the creator of my own happiness and growth!
Most have not yet learned to use the above formula. Instead most people fight against the process by putting most of their mental focus into what they do not have. In other words a person realizes he is a weak kicker and then begins to strengthen the position by putting the power of his mind on his deficiencies. He says things like; “I'm not good because of my bad knee.” or “I'm not as young as I used to be.” or “I've never been very coordinated.” etc. ect. All the while this person is not understanding that the only thing that is keeping them from progressing is their attention on their “weakness” instead of disregarding all of that and focusing on the subject they desire.
Remember it's the “reality” of the situation that has caused you to want to grow. But now you don't want the reality; instead you want something that is not currently a part of your reality, and you will soon get it as long as you don't stay stuck focusing on your current truths. You simply have to take your mind off of where it now is and put it on what you want and hold yourself there mentally until you physically can catch up. That's just the way it works in all cases!
When you understand this method of growth you will understand much about my teaching method. I try and create an environment where everyone is friendly, helpful, and caring, but at the same time make it clear that we are not here to provide a “customer service” experience. If a student wants to get good at something we will help them as best as we can, but we will leave the majority of the “work” to the students themselves. In this way the student never becomes dependent on teacher or dojo, but instead learns how to learn. My goal is to facilitate that personal learning by providing the right environment. If the right student is in the right environment; amazing things will happen!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The most powerful word.
Here is a short five minute video. It's one of my favorite mat chats despite being such a simple principle. If more people used this formula I think far more of them would be happy and productive.
I hope it's beneficial to you.
Friday, April 3, 2009
A wonderful seminar with Riggan Machado!
Last Saturday Sempai Blanco and I had a wonderful time at the Professor Riggan Machado seminar in Detroit. To be around this living Jiu Jitsu master was really an honor that we will both remember forever!
We loved the stories he shared about Jiu Jitsu, his life, and the world. We are still humbled by his generous love of sharing and teaching. (We also loved his sense of humor!)
of her putting him an arm bar; I swear there are men
who have probably been killed for less :)
Machado Black Belt Mr. Ryan and us.
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