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I'm not a gambler, but I do play the Black Jack game on my cell phone quite a bit. Before I had ever been to a real Casino I discovered something obvious about the game in my phone. I discovered that over time I would always win out. The reason was that no matter how many times I might lose a hand I could always double my bet - over and over again if necessary - and eventually I would end up with more money than I started with. As long as I kept playing, and kept raising the stakes, I would alway increase my earnings!
I thought to myself; if it's so easy to win at this game, why don't people just quit there jobs and play cards for a living at real Casinos; whats the catch?
But in Las Vegas there is one critical difference. Even though the odds of winning an individual hand are identical, and the game is played exactly the same, there is one major drawback. At a real Casino each table has established a "maximum" bet. An amount of money that you can bet no higher than on any given hand. As a consequence of the "maximum" bet you can't follow the strategy of simply parlaying your bet because you will almost always hit that ceiling!
On the game in my phone no matter how many times I lose I can always double up and eventually I win. In the Casino there is a limit to what I can bet, and it's this limit that is responsible for statistically always making the house win.
And so here is my point. Most people think life is like a Casino. They try things and lose, they try again and lose, and unfortunately if they lose enough times they arbitrarily decide that they have hit there limit and stop trying. They get up and leave the table.
The great news is that life isn't like a Casino. Life is more like the game on my cell phone. In life there is no "maximum" bet. You can keep on betting and keep on betting, and all you need is one big success to make up for dozens of misses.
Over time, because there is no maximum to the number of tries you get, life is always stacked in your favor. Some appear to gain there successes more quickly, others more slowly, but the great news is this: it is a 100% statistical certainty that as long you keep on trying you will succeed!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Letting to Let Go of Resistance
Here is a brief talk on learning to let go of those beliefs that may be keeping you from being your best; enjoy!
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sometimes you get more if your willing to pay more.
Does getting something for nothing usually work out? Here's a brief story about my experience of getting a "free" education.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Comfort Zones in the Martial Arts
Imagine yourself climbing an infinitely high ladder. When you go up the first couple of rungs there is no fear; you are still a safe distance from the ground. But when you get past a certain point if you're like most people fear can set in. That fear simply means you've climbed out of your comfort zone.
You can avoid the experience of fear in two ways. First if you keep looking up and avoid looking down. Secondly at any given level, if you stay there long enough, your fear will begin to diminish. (This happens all the time with new construction workers who are terrified at first of working on tall buildings but after a period of time they just grow used to it.)
Comfort zones in the Martial Arts (or anything else) work exactly the same way. Often in your practice when you feel uncomfortable it simply means you've moved up a rung in the ladder; you've moved past where you were into higher, more uncharted territory. You can avoid most of the discomfort by keeping your mind on where you are going, and stay in the new place long enough for you to feel safe. Eventually the fear will subside and it will be time to move on again!
What has stopped more aspiring Martial Artists than just about everything else combined is the refusal to move into an unfamiliar area and or the refusal to move out of a comfortable area. If you study every great Martial Art Master they all had one major thing in common; they all were innovators, they stepped out of there comfort zones, often becoming students again and again, continually modifying their techniques and the styles they taught. If you want to be great you must keep moving and looking ahead!
There is some really good news about comfort zones. If you were on a ladder, climbing it higher and higher, eventually you would come to a place where going still higher wouldn't bother you at all. After all, is six hundred feet really that much different than five hundred? So in exactly the same way, when you get to a certain place in your practice moving to new territory isn't that big of a deal; it's just what you do and it gets easier and easier.
So there you have it; if you want to break through your limitations there really is a simple formula.
1: Don't look down, keep your mind on your progress.
2: Stay in your new area long enough to feel good about it.
3: Keep moving and realize eventually you will get to a level where progress will come to you with very little discomfort.
Good luck breaking through your comfort zones!
You can avoid the experience of fear in two ways. First if you keep looking up and avoid looking down. Secondly at any given level, if you stay there long enough, your fear will begin to diminish. (This happens all the time with new construction workers who are terrified at first of working on tall buildings but after a period of time they just grow used to it.)
Comfort zones in the Martial Arts (or anything else) work exactly the same way. Often in your practice when you feel uncomfortable it simply means you've moved up a rung in the ladder; you've moved past where you were into higher, more uncharted territory. You can avoid most of the discomfort by keeping your mind on where you are going, and stay in the new place long enough for you to feel safe. Eventually the fear will subside and it will be time to move on again!
What has stopped more aspiring Martial Artists than just about everything else combined is the refusal to move into an unfamiliar area and or the refusal to move out of a comfortable area. If you study every great Martial Art Master they all had one major thing in common; they all were innovators, they stepped out of there comfort zones, often becoming students again and again, continually modifying their techniques and the styles they taught. If you want to be great you must keep moving and looking ahead!
There is some really good news about comfort zones. If you were on a ladder, climbing it higher and higher, eventually you would come to a place where going still higher wouldn't bother you at all. After all, is six hundred feet really that much different than five hundred? So in exactly the same way, when you get to a certain place in your practice moving to new territory isn't that big of a deal; it's just what you do and it gets easier and easier.
So there you have it; if you want to break through your limitations there really is a simple formula.
1: Don't look down, keep your mind on your progress.
2: Stay in your new area long enough to feel good about it.
3: Keep moving and realize eventually you will get to a level where progress will come to you with very little discomfort.
Good luck breaking through your comfort zones!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Your relationship with others and your relationship to practice.
I was speaking last night about the three phases of relationships I've had in my life. When I first started teaching in the early 80's most of my relationships were based on thinking about "me". I used to think the way you get things done is through placing yourself in an advantageous position. At that time in my life I spent most of my time creating wins for me; but I'm ashamed to say that I didn't care very much if the other person got a win or not. In those days I had a lot of stress, few friends, and pretty terrible relationships.
By the 90's I had come to realize that the only way for me to win was to create a win for the others. I made every effort to create win/win relationships because I knew that was going to be a key to my own success. While this change was a quantum leap in my life, and did relieve a lot of stress, it still was not the highest level. While my interactions had improved I still wasn't totally happy. I still had falling outs, I still had few friends, and I still knew that something was missing.
The biggest change for me over the last ten years is I've purposely started to look at others differently. I no longer see others as a means to reach my goals; but instead I genuinely try and see them the way I believe the Divine sees them. I try and see the best qualities and sometimes even write them down and take them into my meditation. I look at the people I allow into my dojo and into my life as amazing gifts that came from God; and I am reverent toward them and treat them with the utmost care. I don't set up wins for others so that I can win myself; I set up wins for them because I stand in such admiration for them and who they are; my service to them is the least I can do!
The paradox is that not only are today's relationships pleasant, not only do I have more friends than ever and a wonderful stress free lifestyle; but amazingly my business is blessed too! I've come to the conclusion that I receive blessings when I don't seek them, but try my best to simply give them!
I believe that your relationship with Martial Arts practice should work the same way. When you are focused on what practice will "do" for you they will never reveal their deepest secrets. When you learn to see Martial Arts through the eyes of love; when you do it just for it's own sake, when you try to uplift, improve, contribute, all for the simple fun of being on the mats its at that moment you are on the right course.
When you lose yourself in the practice -without trying to get anything from it- at that moment a flood gate of benefits will flow to you; the confidence you were seeking, the self-defense skills, the fitness and concentration. All will come to you naturally, the way a butterfly might land on your shoulder if your still enough. All good things in the Martial Arts will come to you, not because you chase them, but instead precisely because you do not.
By the 90's I had come to realize that the only way for me to win was to create a win for the others. I made every effort to create win/win relationships because I knew that was going to be a key to my own success. While this change was a quantum leap in my life, and did relieve a lot of stress, it still was not the highest level. While my interactions had improved I still wasn't totally happy. I still had falling outs, I still had few friends, and I still knew that something was missing.
The biggest change for me over the last ten years is I've purposely started to look at others differently. I no longer see others as a means to reach my goals; but instead I genuinely try and see them the way I believe the Divine sees them. I try and see the best qualities and sometimes even write them down and take them into my meditation. I look at the people I allow into my dojo and into my life as amazing gifts that came from God; and I am reverent toward them and treat them with the utmost care. I don't set up wins for others so that I can win myself; I set up wins for them because I stand in such admiration for them and who they are; my service to them is the least I can do!
The paradox is that not only are today's relationships pleasant, not only do I have more friends than ever and a wonderful stress free lifestyle; but amazingly my business is blessed too! I've come to the conclusion that I receive blessings when I don't seek them, but try my best to simply give them!
I believe that your relationship with Martial Arts practice should work the same way. When you are focused on what practice will "do" for you they will never reveal their deepest secrets. When you learn to see Martial Arts through the eyes of love; when you do it just for it's own sake, when you try to uplift, improve, contribute, all for the simple fun of being on the mats its at that moment you are on the right course.
When you lose yourself in the practice -without trying to get anything from it- at that moment a flood gate of benefits will flow to you; the confidence you were seeking, the self-defense skills, the fitness and concentration. All will come to you naturally, the way a butterfly might land on your shoulder if your still enough. All good things in the Martial Arts will come to you, not because you chase them, but instead precisely because you do not.
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