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One of my favorite stories comes from the winter a few years back. At that time my favorite night of the week was Thursday, because on Thursday I would go up to Detroit to train in Sifu Brown's class. You might even say I would look forward to Thursday all week long! One particular week seemed like a pretty long and tough one, and I kept thinking, "If I can just make it to Thursday things are going to be terrific." The whole day I waited in eager anticipation of my class in Detroit.
About 30 minutes before we were scheduled to leave one of the kids said; "Hey, there is something wrong with the ceiling." Sure enough he was right; the ceiling at my home was leaking!... Not just leaking in one small place, but leaking massively in several areas. We started rushing around with buckets, trash cans, and towels, trying to limit the damage. What had happened was that my flat roof home had had the drains in the roofing system improperly installed so that as the 18 inches of snow that was on the roof began to melt it was going into the drain area and then leaking into the house!
At that moment we realized the only choice; to climb on the roof and get the foot or two of snow off otherwise it would end up inside my house! I also realized any chances of going to class in Detroit were completely shot.
I remember being on that roof; so angry and resentful for what I was going through. Realizing that I had to move about 3000 square foot of deep snow off my roof; by hand, and was totally missing my favorite part of the week as a consequence!
My mind kept looking for a way out. This can't be happening; there must be another solution... but no.... there was no solution. The only solution was hours of work in the wet darkness of my roof. There was nothing to do but give up.
But then something wonderful happened. I did give up; and started to ask myself, since there is nothing you can do about the circumstance; is there a way to use this situation to your advantage? I remembered the words of Sifu when he would talk about every situation is either an opportunity to loose balance or an opportunity to practice.
I decided then and there that I was not going to miss my practice that night. My practice was going to be on the roof. Every shovel of snow was going to be part of my training, every lift, every twist of the hips, every breath was going to involve focus, and mindfulness. I was on that roof something like four hours, and I have to say that it turned into one of the best Martial Arts Practices of my life!!
As crazy as this sounds I came down from that roof with a feeling of exhilaration; I was actually glad it happened!! I had used the power of my mind to take a horrible situation and use it to my advantage, and I became a better Martial Artist because of it!
I heard Esther Hicks say one time that everything that happens gives you an excuse; you can either use it as an excuse to feel bad or an excuse to feel good. But if you use something or someone as an excuse to feel bad it's not long before you will hate and resent that person or circumstance. On the other hand if you use that person or event as an excuse to feel good it won't be long before you love them. And love is always better than hate. Love transforms; and if you hold to the concept of love long enough the circumstances around you will even begin to change to match your inner feeling.
I know it's a big pill to swallow (and God knows I'm still working on this myself) but the most important thing to remember is it's not the outside circumstances of our lives that determine our happiness. It's our decision to be happy and find a way to make every event of our life into and excuse for us to feel good. That may be the only lesson a person really needs to learn in life.
Have you ever noticed that one person goes for a run and loves it; but to another running is torture; so you can see it's not the activity itself; it's the way you choose to view it! And you are always the one that's choosing; not an outside force, no one else, only you!
I believe this is what were doing all the time. Making excuses; choices really about how we want to feel based on what is happening around us. We think that if something happens that we "prefer" then that is what is making us happy, but seldom do we realize it was us who made the choice to "prefer". Wisdom teaches us that we can't control the circumstances of our life; but we can control how we choose to view them. So in all cases we are in control or our own happiness!
So the question is: "What are you using as your excuse to feel bad; and what are you using as your choice to feel good?" Either way it's just an excuse; and an excuse is nothing more than a choice.
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Hi Sensei,
ReplyDeleteI came across this little story today and it's got similar sentiments to what you talk about above.
Enjoy,
Tyler
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.